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What MOPs really mean.....
Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 1:44 pm
We've all seen the daft things MOPs say threads.
Well, here's a variation on that theme suggested by a certain trader this weekend at Ludlow: What MOPs really mean when they say....
I'll start the ball rolling with:
I'll come back. -> You'll never see me again.
Discount for bulk? -> Will you give me anything off for buying two?
[almost casually] oh... [/almost casually] -> HOW MUCH?!?
Posted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 2:02 pm
No put that down dear, the lady doesn't let you play with the toys .
( which are put on a tray at the front for the children to try out...)
Translation being- for heavens sakes, if you expect us to pay 50p for a hand made spinning top, or some such, there will be nothing left for Daddy to drink in the beer tent, do you think we're made of money!
Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:34 pm
I have one, well many variations on the same one really
"Go on then give me your hottest !" = " hah , I'll call his bluff, how hot can it be!"
"Thats not that bad actually" = "lying b*stard I thought you said it was hot!"
3 seconds later
"BLOODY HELL!" = "JESUS F*ING CHRIST MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE !"
so many people did the same sort of thing on the weekend it was fantastic to watch
Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 5:51 pm
"I haven't got any money left" usually means "I'm spending it all on beer"
Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:36 pm
'I'll think about it' - And see if I can find someone who'll do it for 50 pence per hour for 100 hours.
'Do you make all the costumes yourself?' [me, sat there furiously sewing] - she can't possibly make the costumes herself, she's just putting on a show - she must be buying them in from [third world country of your choice] or have a small army of pixies.
'They didn't wear knickers then, did they?' - I wonder if anyone round here is wearing knickers!
Posted: Tue Dec 02, 2008 7:53 pm
'Do you make all the costumes yourself?' [me, sat there furiously sewing] - she can't possibly make the costumes herself, she's just putting on a show - she must be buying them in from [third world country of your choice] or have a small army of pixies.!
I know that one along with
"did you do all the embroidery by hand?" looking at the embroidered silk dresses.
No dear, if I did it would be out of anyone's price range.
Posted: Mon Dec 08, 2008 10:44 pm
Now that's unfair Fox, I do often say I'll come back, and I always do-it's just it might be at the next event or the one after that when i remmember i was going to buy something off you.
Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 3:25 pm
Marcus Woodhouse wrote:
...when i remmember i was going to buy something off you.
Point of order: I don't sell anything.
Posted: Wed Dec 10, 2008 6:05 pm
Always on a Sunday, "How much for cash?" or "You don't want to take it home with you I'll give you £x" Assume about 25% of the selling price.
That is by people I don't recognise as re-enactors.
Posted: Thu Dec 11, 2008 12:09 pm
Yes a bug bear of mine
I will give you x for this magnificent 18th century coat
to which I reply no go away the price is as stated
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 8:39 am
Or "what traders really mean"
no go away the price is as stated
"Feck off !! do you know how much effort has gone into this ? its not a fecking car boot sale, now p*ss OFF !"
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2008 9:57 am
he reads my mind
and the one for the living histroy camp
Posted: Fri Dec 26, 2008 1:37 am
is that a real fire?
is it heavy?
is that real food?, ya must be going to the pub for tea.. go on..
so were ya staying tonight then?
Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 1:48 am
'do you make it all yourself' = 'there's no way anybody can do so many different things'
'I want really good quality fabric' = 'I want the best you can get for £4 per metre'
'is that really hand embroidered' = 'can't be is too neat'
(reply = no, it's not hand embroidered, that's why there's a sign saying fecking hand embroidered)
Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2009 8:45 pm
"is that real food your eating?" - to my friend who had her mouth full at the time and nearly choked laughing.
"is that real wood your burning?"
"oh look! real medieval people. did you know they didnt have toilets."
mop-"if you put some potatoes in the ash pan they'ed be ready by dinner."
me- "we didn't have potatoes in the 15th centuary"
mop- "but you're wasting perfectly good ashes!"
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 10:37 am
Feck off !! do you know how much effort has gone into this ? its not a fecking car boot sale, now p*ss OFF !"
I agree with Martin, how tempting it is sometimes to say this...
I get brassed off with folk who ask me who makes the stuff for me and they are so surprised when I tell them i do it all myself, working a ninety hour week to get as much stock done as possible, inc packing, labelling etc...then deep cleaning the kitchen afterwards takes around 3 hours after baking and is truly knackering....then they whisper that they think i am just saying that i do it myself - i must have a bakery with staff who do it all for me.......red rag n bull springs to mind.....
am thinking of taking photos of me working as proof that i do make everything myself...but there again they would only think its staged
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:44 pm
Just to join in, we get the usual...
Mop "where's the castle?"
You "well so see those bloody great stone walls....."
mop "is that a real medieval baby - how do you look after a medieval baby?"
You decline to respond as the only word you can think of is Duh!
the old are the best- " isn't it good they built it so close to the motorway/car park etc etc!
my favourites are - Knight rides in on rather large horse - followed by mop "Is that a real horse?" -
"no it is in fact a well trained robotic cow painted to look like a horse to fool you!"
Posted: Sat Mar 07, 2009 5:51 pm
Best yet though - just remembered- mainly because it's never been beaten for us...
kenilworth 2008 - end of long week - tired, knackered trying to pack up inside tent before take down... Man with exceptionally strong Irish accent and two semi-feral children appear.
mop "is tat a castle den? "
us "well the remains of"
mop "so it's not a castle den"
Us "well yes, but semi destroyed.... (before we can continue)
mop "is tat a stables den? (yes) "what did they keep in dere den sheep or pigs?
Us er... horses!
mop "oh they had horses den did they?" yes (again change of tack)
mop "who lived here then?"
(we think - bore him senseless with entire family history so he'll go away...)
mop "was he a good man or a bad man?
Us eh? (again change of tack)
mop "how old are dem trees? (us - urghh!)
mop man who lived here - d'you think he'd like chocolate? (us - WHAT?!)
Finally finished off with mop do'you have a video player (proceeds to explain what one is) I was watching a video on John Buckham - in jail for 2 turds (irish 3rds) of his life! long time.... how long is 2 turds of your life?
(we gave up and hid by this point!)